The story of The Lost Welshman begins a long time ago, about last Tuesday. It is a tale of horror, suspense and small hamsters that disturbingly wore hats, and had pipes. All of which not included in this PG version.
The day was Tuesday, and Alex was walking home from school. This wasn’t his usual routine, he’s usually a lazy sod, but something had changed. He felt adventurous, so he went on an adventure. Although, ‘Alex and the Ant hill’ wasn’t a very exciting adventure, so Ill just talk about something different. I’ll tell you the story of, ‘The Lost Welshman’.
So, the anthill was destroyed, (none of the ants were harmed, they were just sleeping) and Alex had one. He soon found himself outside a phone box, a red phone box. He entered the cold, damp, redness of the box, and funnily enough found a phone. Then he left, making the phone box completely unimportant in this story.
When he got home, Alex opened the fridge, he was hungry, and nobody was home to get some chocolate. This meant that he had to eat something, ergh, savoury. In the fridge he found a glowing green rod, which he thought looked too much like it would make crumbs. Sadly, everything in the fridge would have made crumbs, so he decided upon a green, glowing sandwich. ‘Hmm’ he thought as he eat it, in a boat, in the bath. Suddenly he found himself dressed like the grim reaper, as his friends call him. Alex sat there for a bit, wondering how the hell he managed to put a robe on without even trying, well, without physically trying anyway. He did it with shear force of will, and of coarse with the help of the sandwich, which was not radioactive or anything, it just glowed.
A few hours later, Alex was about to leave the bath, as he feared he was going to be all wrinkly. As Alex jumped from the boat onto the bathroom floor, a Figure entered the room. “Ack” Alex said after swallowing more of his sandwich. “Wh...who are you” He said again as a strange mist flowed into the room. “Are you the grim reaper?” Alex asked,
“Yes, but please call me Death, its what all my friends call me.”
“What do you want with me?”
“Well, considering you ate my lunch, and thought for a split second that it would be cool to have a scythe., I thought you might want to do some reaping, for work experience or something.”
“Yeah sure, ok. I’d better get some practice in.” With that said Death vanished with a KABLAMO and all that remained was a note, lying on the ceiling. Alex reached up to grab it and the paper flew into his hand, “Que? Oh my god, I can speak Espaniol! That must mean I have super powers!” Alex read the note. It was titled ‘Grim Reaping for Dummies’, underneath that it had instructions for reaping. Alex murmered to himself while he read the instructions, “Ok…...scythe…..swing…..take to big gold gates, not black ones, at first anyway……..bla bla? What’s that about……… black robe at all times…...rubber chicken…….? Wait a minute? I get a scythe, now that’s just damn cool. Well I’d better get cracking, first stop Granvi…. Oh wait, says here that I have to use the ‘to do’ list, ah well, you win some you loose some.”
From that moment on Alex had a new Identity, although he can’t tell anyone, and since he just put it on the internet for all to see, I’m probably going to get into trouble with Death.