Deep in the middle of nowhere, on an Island miles away from anywhere, hundreds of miles. There lived a large community of cannibals. They weren’t like those cannibals that you would picture with a bone through their nose or red face paint all over their face. But they weren't homicidal people (like Hannibal Lector). They had dark skin and wore brown tunics made of polyester, fashionable t-shirts, accessories like fake crocodile tooth necklaces, and they also had very cool masks.
Kenny was a humble Cannibal, who lived on the east coast of the Island, he was an outcast. Nobody wanted him around, due to his tendency to eat people that he didn't like. The day was a Friday, Kenny knew because it was his birthday, It was his birthday every Friday. He was enjoying a little rest on his long beach when suddenly a person washed onto the shore, knocking down Kenny’s sandcastle. Kenny was very annoyed with the person, so he kicked the person, who then woke up. It was none other than Alex Granville! Luckily for Alex, Kenny was trying to become a vegetarian, how this worked I don't know.
As the days went by Granville became friends with Kenny, who was finding becoming a vegetarian harder that he thought it would be, he was caught on numerous occasions slightly eating people as they slept. Koogermacca Spaddlewong was very cross when she woke up with Kenny gnawing at her arm. On Friday evening Granville decided to tell Kenny the story of how he came to the island, it was a tale full of treachery and an annoyed friend. Kenny didn't seem to like this present so He put Granville in a cage.
Granville waited for a few weeks while Kenny went hunting for vegetarian antelope. Luckily Kenny came back, Lucky for Kenny that was, he saw Granville trying to escape. So he burst into a fit of rage and started doing the Macarena. Granville was entranced, especially with the Cannibals doing the music with cool sounding instruments. He couldn’t resist joining in, but when he did all of the Cannibals found it offensive to their God, Quicksilver. They took Granville to the sacrificial dining table. Kenny waited till that night and went to the west islanders camp. The place he had been kicked out of before. It was the guy with the feather mask’s birthday, Wednesday. Kenny waited for the celebration to begin, he watched as they tickled Granville, who was squirming. Kenny was angry. He leapt out of the bushes, grabbed a flaming stick and fought off the surrounding Cannibals, and then untied Granville. Granville ran deep into the jungle and Kenny remained fighting them off. Sadly he was overpowered and they tied him to the Sacrificial dining table. Nobody came to rescue him.
Kenny the Cannibal,
Sorry for the sad ending.